Have you seen the workers at Ramada Inn on 2nd Avenue busily adding a new facade? Ten will get you 20 that they're not doing much to the interior. Hmm. I wonder why Ramada would update the exterior. It wouldn't have anything to do with Lawton's urban renewal plans, calling for the motel to be bought out and converted for the multi-use, residential retail (read Target store) development city planners have in mind, would it? The owners probably think they can shake an extra $50K out of the city by making the building look better. It's a horrible location for a motel anyway. And if you check the reviews at places like Tripadvisor.com, most guests hate it.

Just as a preview, here are the headings for the last nine reviews, and I'm not leaving any out.

"Horrible experience"

"Humid & moldy"

"Dirty"

"DIRTY, SMELLY & NASTY"

"This place is a flea motel"

"Stinky and stinky"

"Rude dump"

(My personal favorite) "Yuck"

and "More than the room was hot"

If you have a death wish, or are hoping for a rear ender to earn an insurance payday on your clunker, try driving up and down North Sheridan in the northbound lanes. Not only is street construction limiting you to one lane near the critical turn into Wal-Mart, now that the new Carl's Jr. is open, there is also traffic exiting and entering just beyond the traffic cones, creating all sorts of peril. It has long amazed me someone hasn't been killed pulling into Wal-Mart. You'll note that traffic entering Wal-Mart and the main entrance has the right-of-way over those turning into the parking lot's main exit. But many turning into Wal-Mart treat it like a four-way stop, often backing traffic up into Sheridan Road. It's an invitation to a T-bone accident.

Speaking of lane blockages, Arts For All is limiting access to the Water Department, Library and Police Department. I have to hand it to whoever erected those tents. I was stunned they all stood strong through our Wednesday thunderstorms. Speaking of those storms, this is turning into the best spring I've seen in years, perhaps even better than last year. We were a little too inundated last year.

To all my loyal and snickering readers, I thank you for your patience. Raising all thing young uns', even in as nice a place as Lawton, is a full time job.

But, every so often I just have to speak my mind. And apparently that's done some good, 'cause I noticed that the City Council is re-thinking the trash pickup rules, and those permanent arches make for a clear entrance to the park and should help get folks tuned in to where they are supposed to go by the time the next Holiday in the Park rolls around.

Which is good because it's going to be in use before next season. The International Festival Committee has announced that it's moving from downtown Library Plaza to Elmer Thomas Park this year. That will be on last weekend in September, if memory serves me.

All those Boy Scouts last summer who camped on top of the prairie dog holes did a wonderful job cleaning up after themselves. The park was neater when they left than when they arrived. Now let's just see if the festival-goers and city crews do as well as those 7,000 12-year-olds.

The International Festival also has those evening street dances (Will they now be call hillside dances?), so there will be nighttime activities, as well as all day. Early word about the schedule is that the activities will be very much the same.& ...

So Lawton now is home to a professional sports championship. After dispatching teams from such larger cities as Atlanta and Albany, New York throughout the season and beating the similarly sized city of Yakima (though the team is named YakAMA in an evident homage to Barack ObAMA) the Oklahoma Cavalry (the team is now renamed Lawton-Ft. Sill, in an evident homage to Lawton-Ft. Sill) beat a team from a city a third the size of Lawton. Minot, North Dakota, pop. 37,000, is almost exactly the same size as Muskogee, Oklahoma. And while the rest of the world wasted it's time with March Madness, Lawtonians with high-speed internet could catch the Minot Webcast of the game complete with play-by-play from the young guy straight out of "Fargo" (Dontchano?)

Or you could listen to Chris Needham on Magic 95 (FAST BREAK, FAST BREAK, FAST BREAK) Or you could do what most Lawtonians will do, peer out tentatively at their stoop, see if anyone is looking, sneak out in their nightclothes long enough to grasp the paper, hustle back inside, and open up news of the Cavs triumph. Such is the way of small-time, big-league basketball. It still doesn't have the Americana of minor-league baseball, but it's a title. It's our title. And today, we are title town.

Let's see, yesterday there was an 80 percent chance of snow today and the forecast was for 3 to 5 inches. Then it was for 1 to 3 inches. Then it was for at least an inch. Now Skippy (Dan Zarrow) has the audacity to say it was TOO WARM to snow. Hey Skippy, it didn't even RAIN!!! (By the way, I was once told that exclamation points are substitutes for poor vocabulary, so there you have it) Can anyone count the number of times we've had snow forecast that didn't happen? Why don't they just go on the air and say "We have absolutely no idea." Just forecast the wind. They're usually pretty good at that. Say "It'll be windy tomorrow and it will be out of the north." or "out of the south." For some reason they can predict the wind, but not the rain. Speaking of wind, how about that stop light mast blowing down at 67th and Cache Road? What if there had been a car there at the fateful moment? Who would be sued? The city? the light signal mast makers? God? I have a hard time believing that those masts ought to blow over, even in the 50 mph winds we were having.

So yet another affront to good taste bit the dust this week. This weekend I sampled the fare at Fire Mountain, and it was even blander than normal. The grill was barely running. Now I know why. Everything was winding down. Not that the employees had much of a head's up. They were only informed a day or two before the end came. The parent company that also runs Ryan's filed for bankruptcy reorganization. I'm not a big Golden Corral buff, but the Corral has been clearly the better trough over the last couple of years. Plus, Golden Corral has that cool, older lady waitress with the orange hair.

Speaking gastronomically, Olive Garden has gotten off to an unusually rocky start. Waits of an hour are not uncommon, even in off-peak periods. Many diners say it is by far the smallest Olive Garden they have ever seen. And several have testified that the food is not up to typical Olive Garden standards, though some say the quality has slightly improved over the last month.

OK. You know you need to talk about it. You can’t get your two cents worth in the paper, on TV or the radio. Come sit down, have some tea and roots and let’s just get this out.

Does anyone know what the rules are about trash pick up in Lawton?

Lord knows I’ve tried to understand.

The other day, my cans got stood up on their date with the sanitation engineers. I thought it was because the cans were filled slightly over the top. But, no. I later discovered stickers on the handles that said they were more than 35 gallon containers. Say what? Now I’ve had these cans so long, there’s no writing left for me to know how much they hold. And apparently I’m not the only one. Half the cans in my neighborhood did not get picked up.

So I called a city government official. Using my kindest squeak, I inquired, “Why &%$## lazy (*&^$ taxpayer *&%$@# come election time _+)*&%!!!

To which I was told: 3 cans max, 35 gallon max, or 6 kitchen can-sized bags. Bags cannot be overstuffed.  Cans may not weigh more than 75 pounds each. Must be either cans or bags; cannot be a mix by the curb.

Luckily I was writing this down, because I wasn’t sure I heard correctly. Cans may not weigh more than 75 pounds? What am I supposed to do? Go outside with my bathroom ...

Has anyone else been blinded by the light of a thousand suns that is the new Ramon's advertising board on Gore after dark?

Speaking of not being able to stand the light, did you catch the LPD's explanation of the 70 percent increase in robberies? They count crime differently. Only they didn't say in what way they count crime differently. No one doubts that crime is up, not even the city or the LPD. This is the confluence of a number of factors, not the least of which is an undermanned LPD.

So Olive Garden opens its doors at 4 p.m. Monday and, with decades of anticipation ready to burst forth, everyone is forecasting 1 1/2 to 2 hours waits the first, dinner-only week. It reminds one of the old Yogi Berra line "My favorite restaurant closed. It got so crowded nobody went there anymore." Obviously that won't be the fate of Olive Garden, but one has to wonder about Lawton's other three Italian restaurants: Giovanni's, Luigi's and Bella Mia

(I'm not counting Bianco's. As we've already established Bianco's hardly qualifies as a restaurant, much less an Italian restaurant. Regardless, Bianco's will undoubtedly survive Olive Garden and the impending 2nd Avenue wrecking ball. Some things are just too bad to go away.)

To be honest, I'm surprised Luigi's has survived as long as it has. I've never been in there when I would say it is "crowded." But it is arguably the best in the bunch. I would give Giovanni's second place and Luigi's a close third. Luigi's is good, but the food there is extremely rich.

With Olive Garden opening we will have a critical mass of Italian restaurants in the Sheridan and Cache area. Pizza Hut Bistro -- which is Pizza Hut with a couple of dollars added to the menu -- is next door. Giovanni's is across the street and Luigi's is down Sheridan. That should actually help those involved, which could ultimately hurt Bella Mia. Here's hoping they all ...