Lawton’s Birthday Parade was held Aug. 4, 2007 – 106 years in the making. Final results: Six blocks of horse flesh, 19 minutes duration, and no live music, though I think I heard a mule fart.

About the B-Day celebration…not to be critical, but a horse or two and some sweaty folks looking like survivors of Donner’s Pass does not a parade make.

But, it’s hard to get enthused about outdoor activities in southwest Oklahoma under the August sun. How about next year, we have the parade indoors?

I suggest Central Mall. It’d be cooler and there’s plenty of time to shop between “clop, ka-clop, ka-clop, ka-clop” and the Shriner station wagon (which wasn’t even full of clowns!)

Oh, fireworks and free food are always crowd pleasers, but there was enough down time between events to hold a City Council meeting and annex one of the nearby casinos.  At picnics like these people get bored and wander off and small children fall into wells.

This is why God created professional “party planners.” They’re not cheap, but they know how to keep the show moving.

Or the City could just ask my Mother to handle it like she used to when we were kids – slap a few pointy hats on our heads, set a cake on fire and yell “Eat the ice cream before it melts!”

Now that was a party.    

So, cast your votes for the next Parade location: Mall or Infernal Heat?

See ya’ on the prairie dog mound.

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