Bonnie Barker

Following the Bouncing Ball

casi580@aol.com — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 20:04:21 GMT

OK. What everybody is talking about is the new general manager of the city's basketball team, the Lawton Fort Sill Cavalry -- Stacy Johnson-Klein. If you read the sports pages, you're up on the PR of it all. But, even ladies who are non-sports followers have taken notice, and recall SJK's first go 'round in our fair city, when she was the coach of the women round-ballers at Cameron University, and a general manager of sorts.

Now I'm not one to chatter on the mound with the Junior League, but could SJK have had a press conference wearing a bigger diamond ring, or arrived in a longer white stretch limo, or found an attorney to herald her arrival with more celebrity than Gloria Allred, or had anymore bleach in her hair?!

I don't think so.

Media reports are, that after her stint coaching in Fresno, which went sour and wound up in a Cali court, SJK was awarded $9+ million. Some would say, that's why you get a mouthpiece like Gloria Allred (you may have seen her on CNN and various news shows when she was involved in the OJ Simpson case, Scott Peterson case, and other high-profile legalities).

In this case, from those who witnessed the proceedings, and reported on it, well, let's just say it sounded like a bad TV soap opera.

The Cavalry had a title-winning debut in 2007-2008. SJK's addition puts an even brighter spotlight on the team. We'll have to see how it goes after the first tip-off, just how bright it shines for the Cavs' second season.

Will SJK and husband Chuck Klein stay -- and keep buying investment properties -- in Lawton?

Will SJK be able to fill the whopping 3,000-seat Great Plains Coliseum at Cavs' home games?

Will the Cavs' owners be ordering extra champagne for celebrations at season's end, or trying to fill extra prescriptions for pain medication?

Will SJK reveal the true color of her hair?

Stay tuned for more episodes of "As the Ball Dribbles."

Backyard Wildlife Myths

casi580@aol.com — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 20:18:57 GMT

OK, I have a soft spot for The Humane Society of the United States. What can I say? Obviously I have a stake in this. Some of the residents around Elmer Thomas Park don't particularly care for us furry neighbors. But, some folks, biologists, a few professors, and those who are in to more "natural" yards, welcome critters.

Here's an interesting piece from Rodi Rosensweig, a backyard wildlife expert from The Humane Society (with some of my own color commentary. - BB)

Top Wildlife Myths: How Well Do You Know Your Wild Neighbors?

Summer is Best Time for Kids – and Adults – to Learn More about Wildlife

With kids spending more time outside, The Humane Society of the United States wants to set the record straight about the most common wildlife myths.

According to Laura Simon, field director of urban wildlife for The HSUS, “These popular myths have been around forever, passed on from generation to generation. We are hoping that educating the next generation will ultimately result in a better coexistence between humans and wildlife.”

Myth # 1: Feeding bread to geese and ducks is okay. (As you may know, we seem to have permanent geese in every body of water in Lawton. - BB)

Fact: Bread is bad for all birds because it offers little nutritional value. Severe health problems, including a debilitating condition called “Angel Wing” can be caused by bread diets. Feeding can also lead to dependency in ducklings and goslings who fail to learn how to find native foods on their own. Some birds can even become aggressive about being fed — leading to a tragic outcome if humans decide to remove them.

Myth # 2: If you find a fawn alone (...Nevermind. How far out in the woods is your yard for this one? - BB)

Myth # 3: If you touch a baby bird, the parents will abandon him. (OK, now this just happened at our place the other day. - BB)

Fact: Birds have a limited sense of smell, but are strongly bonded to their chicks. Parents will not abandon chicks handled by humans. The best thing humans can do if a baby bird falls from its nest, and is not well feathered and clearly learning how to fly, is to put him back in it. Watch carefully: The parents will return to feed him.

Myth # 4: If you see a raccoon during the day (...Oh, please. Just put out the anti-bacterial soap for it to wash with. - BB)

Myth # 5: If you get close to a skunk, you’ll get sprayed. (Or more likely the bottom of your car will get sprayed on our roads. - BB)

Fact: It is actually pretty difficult for a person to get sprayed by a skunk. These animals only spray to defend themselves, such as when a dog runs up and grabs them. But because they cannot “reload” very fast, skunks do not waste their odiferous weapon. Instead, they will stamp their front feet as a warning to get you to back off.

Myth # 6: Bats get tangled up in your hair (...Just do what normal folks do, run and scream like your hair's on fire. - BB)

Myth # 7: Cats belong outdoors and it is not fair to keep them inside the house.

Fact: Letting cats roam outside subjects them to perils of the outdoor world, particularly being hit by cars. Indoor cats live a healthier and longer life. Outdoor cats, no matter how well-fed, will hunt and kill wildlife like baby rabbits, chipmunks and baby birds who have not yet learned to fly. Wildlife and cats are both at risk when people let their cats out.

(There is even more helpful information at the Humane Society's Web site. - BB)

The HSUS Wild Neighbors Program promotes non-lethal means for resolving conflicts between people and wildlife and cultivates understanding and appreciation for wild animals commonly found in cities and towns. The program’s book, Wild Neighbors: The Humane Approach to Living with Wildlife (December 2007, Humane Society Press) is a useful reference for individuals and communities faced with resolving encounters with wild animals who find their way into yards, gardens, houses, parks and playgrounds. On the web at humanesociety.org/wildneighbors.

Also, Rodi Rosensweig, rodicompany@earthlink.net

The Humane Society of the United States is the nation's largest animal protection organization — on the web at humanesociety.org.

Restoring the Pride to "Want Fries With That?"

casi580@aol.com — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 18:42:20 GMT

Now, you know I'm not one to complain, but...

Yeah, there's always a big ol' "but" coming in.

There seems to be a shortage in Lawton of dependable help in that all-important industry that helps keep America fat and happy. I'm talking about the fast food joints.

You know -- those places we hit hauling a van load of little squeakers between soccer games and dance lessons; or to grab a bag to leave on the counter before heading to a PTA meeting, just to show our hubby how much we love him.

Sloppy service and sloppily put together hamburgers and tacos have been longtime problems with the fast food restaurants.

And you always have to check your bag if you're getting take out. There's nothing more frustrating than getting home and finding you've been shorted. Try explaining to a mound full of hungry prairie pups that they have to share a small order of fries.

The latest development however is not enough workers to even give you a screwed up order.

Daddy Barker and I went to a Wendy's a while back and he nearly broke his nose when he ran into a locked glass door. The sign said it was open, but it wasn't. A girl came to the door (no, it wasn't Pippilongstocking) and said only the drive-thru was serving because they didn't have enough workers show up.

And just the other evening, at a MacDonald's, the manager was standing in the parking lot waiving people through because NO ONE showed up for their shift.

Folks, this is just too much. What kind of spoiled brats are we raising that don't even come to a job that they have applied for and been given, because they got something better to do that night; and when they do drag in, they think they can be as lazy with paying customers as they are with their homework?

I'm all for giving kids a chance, but maybe a few more F grades and pink slips are in order before we lose our world superpower status.

Not enough workers to go around? Then I guess we'll just have to close some of those places down at five o'clock.

Or, here's a thought. I take my family and friends to south Texas and we burrow some tunnels. Because there sure seems to be a shortage of people willing to work on this side of the border.

Festivaling in the Park

casi580@aol.com — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 23:45:34 GMT

To all my loyal and snickering readers, I thank you for your patience. Raising all thing young uns', even in as nice a place as Lawton, is a full time job.

But, every so often I just have to speak my mind. And apparently that's done some good, 'cause I noticed that the City Council is re-thinking the trash pickup rules, and those permanent arches make for a clear entrance to the park and should help get folks tuned in to where they are supposed to go by the time the next Holiday in the Park rolls around.

Which is good because it's going to be in use before next season. The International Festival Committee has announced that it's moving from downtown Library Plaza to Elmer Thomas Park this year. That will be on last weekend in September, if memory serves me.

All those Boy Scouts last summer who camped on top of the prairie dog holes did a wonderful job cleaning up after themselves. The park was neater when they left than when they arrived. Now let's just see if the festival-goers and city crews do as well as those 7,000 12-year-olds.

The International Festival also has those evening street dances (Will they now be call hillside dances?), so there will be nighttime activities, as well as all day. Early word about the schedule is that the activities will be very much the same.

What won't be the same is that downtown, the festival has had high visibility, the shade of all the plaza trees, that closed-in feeling of the downtown buildings, and easy street parking. It was also handy to the library and Central Mall, when you needed to get out of the rain or the heat, as it were.

None of that will be the case in the middle of Prairie Dog Central. But, ET Park seems to be where things are headed. If the International Festival goes over well at the new site, look of the Arts For All Festival to follow suit next year.

For this year, Arts For All Festival is set to be in its usual spot in Shepler Square, in semi-downtown.

The big question remains like the elephant (or in this case the two-ton rodent) in the room: Can mankind co-exist with prairie dog-kind in the same biosphere?

Just watch where you stick those tent poles, Buster, or I'll tell you where to stick 'em!

Like they say on the Channel 7 News each evening: "What do you think? Will ET Park be a better place for the International Festival? Remember this is not a scientific poll, and we would like to thank our viewers for participating."

Squeak at me!

Trash Cans, Smash Cans!

casi580@aol.com — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 18:03:19 GMT

OK. You know you need to talk about it. You can’t get your two cents worth in the paper, on TV or the radio. Come sit down, have some tea and roots and let’s just get this out.

Does anyone know what the rules are about trash pick up in Lawton?

Lord knows I’ve tried to understand.

The other day, my cans got stood up on their date with the sanitation engineers. I thought it was because the cans were filled slightly over the top. But, no. I later discovered stickers on the handles that said they were more than 35 gallon containers. Say what? Now I’ve had these cans so long, there’s no writing left for me to know how much they hold. And apparently I’m not the only one. Half the cans in my neighborhood did not get picked up.

So I called a city government official. Using my kindest squeak, I inquired, “Why &%$## lazy (*&^$ taxpayer *&%$@# come election time _+)*&%!!!

To which I was told: 3 cans max, 35 gallon max, or 6 kitchen can-sized bags. Bags cannot be overstuffed. Cans may not weigh more than 75 pounds each. Must be either cans or bags; cannot be a mix by the curb.

Luckily I was writing this down, because I wasn’t sure I heard correctly. Cans may not weigh more than 75 pounds? What am I supposed to do? Go outside with my bathroom scales and try to… oh, you get the picture.

And that was just the beginning of the problem. That day there was a run on 35 gallon cans. I went to three stores before getting the last two at Lowe’s. All that extra driving was good for the environment. Not to mention my blood pressure.

Next problem. Now I’m stuck with a half-week’s worth of extra trash bags. Can’t over stuff the can. Can’t mix cans and bags by the curb. What’s a neat little hole dweller like me supposed to do?

Ah-so. It may be time for Ninja Prairie Dog to make midnight raid, and place stinky extra bags in front of houses of dishonorable city council members.

Any one else encountered trash can confusion?

Lights! Camera! Holiday in the Park!

casi580@aol.com — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 00:51:13 GMT

Well, mercy me, sorry it’s been so long but I had no idea that I was going to have so much company before Christmas!

In case you’ve been living in a hole (pun intended) and didn’t know, there is a lights display in Elmer Thomas Park. It’s called Holiday in the Park, and I suppose it is for some, but for those of us that live out here, it’s quite a distraction.

Now I’m all for getting into the holiday spirit, but I think this is one Hallmark card that needs to go back to the drawing board.

To begin, where do you enter this thing? The City of Lawton starts blocking off parts of Ferris Avenue and Cache Road between Second Street and Fort Sill Boulevard at four o’clock each day. In addition to regular traffic detours, and those driving around trying to figure out the entrance to Holiday in the Park, those going to evening functions at the Museum of the Great Plains and McMahon Auditorium are really screwed. I mean we’re talking about a group that is largely senior citizens driving battleships in the dark trying to find the one entrance to park at these facilities (It’s that road that runs along the East side of the Lawton High track off of Ferris, by the way.) When the event is over, they can only exit onto Cache Road and then only turn right. This requires getting onto Second Street and then deciding which way home.

As for the aesthetics, I’m not even going to talk about what 49 light displays look like. Though I did hear that they are bringing in some of the stored-away displays from the late Boulevard of Lights. Can’t say anything about that, lots of people decorate at the last minute.

Now while they say this thing is free, that’s only to enter. Leaving is another matter. They have a group of Santa’s highwaymen at the exit. If you don’t “make a donation” they stare at you as if to say, “You remember those scary angels from the Boulevard of Lights? Do you want them to visit your house in the middle of the night? Then donate. Merry Christmas”. (For those unfamiliar the “scary angels” bodies were lit up at night but their little mannequin heads with the bad wigs were not. Looked like the nightmare before Christmas with headless angels…)

I don’t know, kids. It’s the first year, maybe next year will be better or they will decide to let us get some sleep out here and move the thing back from whence it came.

When not driving through Holiday in the Park, enjoy Christmas shopping, and send me your extra Shop Lawton tickets for the drawing! I have lots of relatives.

-- Bonni

Halloween Tips from the Mound

casi580@aol.com — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 17:16:16 GMT

Well, today is Halloween. As if life on the mound doesn't make you jumpy enough, tonight all the little beggars come around wanting some of what you've spent all summer storing away. If you don't give them a treat, you have to hope they don't fill up your hole with gravel or worse yet, run a water hose down it.

But, we were kids once. We didn't have much when we were growing up and some years we couldn't afford a costume, so Mom would tell us "Don't look so cute and go as a gopher!" I did have a scary costume one year. Went as a hawk. Plumb terrified the neighbors. "Knock, knock, squuuuaaak!" You should have seen them squeak and run.

But if your cubs do go shake down the neighbors (according to iVillage, www.ivillage.com, 44% of parents surveyed will allow their kids to trick-or-treat their neighborhoods), here are a few tips to keep it fun and safe.

Remember that cute muffin Mayor Purcell has decreed that the official hours
to grab it and bag it are 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. Halloween Night.
Another tunnel to take is to throw a Halloween party at home.
Instead of just cavity-making candy, you may want to have the
kids scavenge for other prizes, say gift cards, books and toys (but no toys
from China, please!).
When heading into the dark, make sure your little critters are prepared.
Arm them with flashlights and cell phones. Make sure they cross streets
safely, walk on sidewalks and avoid shortcuts through deserted areas (there
could be omg, owls!).
Parents, stand up on your mound and watch for careless drivers, suspicious
activity -- and some time today, check with other moms on the Internet
Halloween Message Board: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-pphalloween
http://slideshow.ivillage.com/parenting/holidays/halloween_2007/halloween_safety_tips/post_391.html
For more Halloween ideas, from costumes to recipes, visit:
http://parenting.ivillage.com/gs/gscelebrations/0,,c2zdt6m1,00.html?nlcid=tk|10-08-2007|

Happy Halloween and watch out for owls!

Moratorium on "Awesome"

casi580@aol.com — Fri, 07 Sep 2007 18:38:02 GMT

The adjective "awesome" is totally overused and inappropriately in most connotations. Requisite 15 minutes of fame painfully prolonged. Announce contest for new word to replace "awesome" in vernacular English! Plz k thx

It Takes a Village to Have a Parade

casi580@aol.com — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 17:44:07 GMT

Lawton’s Birthday Parade was held Aug. 4, 2007 – 106 years in the making. Final results: Six blocks of horse flesh, 19 minutes duration, and no live music, though I think I heard a mule fart.

About the B-Day celebration…not to be critical, but a horse or two and some sweaty folks looking like survivors of Donner’s Pass does not a parade make.

But, it’s hard to get enthused about outdoor activities in southwest Oklahoma under the August sun. How about next year, we have the parade indoors?

I suggest Central Mall. It’d be cooler and there’s plenty of time to shop between “clop, ka-clop, ka-clop, ka-clop” and the Shriner station wagon (which wasn’t even full of clowns!)

Oh, fireworks and free food are always crowd pleasers, but there was enough down time between events to hold a City Council meeting and annex one of the nearby casinos. At picnics like these people get bored and wander off and small children fall into wells.

This is why God created professional “party planners.” They’re not cheap, but they know how to keep the show moving.

Or the City could just ask my Mother to handle it like she used to when we were kids – slap a few pointy hats on our heads, set a cake on fire and yell “Eat the ice cream before it melts!”

Now that was a party.

So, cast your votes for the next Parade location: Mall or Infernal Heat?

See ya’ on the prairie dog mound.